Thought of the day September 8 Part II

These were our plans: first, we were going to the movies; and then, alcohol!!! We arrived to the mall, but there was no good movie to watch and we went into stores and bought some nice clothes. After that, we were to a bar to eat. Once there, we decided to go somewhere nicer, so, I proposed ‘Oh’, which is a gay club. I had hear about it because Geremy once invited me, but I wasn’t sure, I had to meet the place first and with my friends it was a perfect opportunity because it would be just dancing; but what a surprise came later…

My friend Matt was kinda worried about going to Oh, but I just thought it was because of Jacob (he is so innocent) and Helen (I can bet that she’s never been to a place like that). Once in, we found two friends of Matt. Matt was not so happy and I asked him why; he told me that one of those friends is his ex-couple and that he’s dating with the other guy, who actually is Matt’s best friend in the gay scene. Of course you can imagine the conflict in my mind. I was so confused because I didn’t expect that form Matt, but I was also happy because I had finally met a real friend who is gay. The rest of the night was weird. I was dancing with them and in a moment Matt and his best friend disappeared just like that. And they left Matt’s ex… Each time they did that, Helen looked at me like saying “these two have something weird”, but I just turned around and kept dancing.

The next day, the conversation with Matt was inevitable. He called me to explain everything about last night. And obviously I told him that I’m gay too. I told him all the story about Geremy; and we both promise not to tell anybody about our sexuality; even thought his mother already knows, he doesn’t want anybody at the campus to know, neither do I. I just hope Helen and Jacob don’t figure out anything; it would be so embarrassing.

Thought of the day September 28 Part I

Today is Monday, September 8th, 2008. It’s been a long while. I’ve been through an emotional rollercoaster. First, all the stuff about my career; but, I finally decided that I should take advantage of my scholarship. I’ll finish computers and then I’ll decide what to do. Nevertheless, many other things happened during this time.

I have this friend, her name is Andy. She had difficulties with her uncle, whom she stayed with during the week. One day, she called me so worried because she just had left her uncle’s apartment and had no place to stay during the quarter’s final week; so, I offered her to stay with me. The very next day she brought her stuff. That was a weird week; I mean, when I woke up in the morning, there was a girl lying on my bed. I could hardly believe it (Did I mention she is so hot?). And the worst part is that I know nothing will ever happen between us…

This takes me to my next issue: love. As a teenager, I became really close to girls. Painfully, I was too close to them. I became best friend with all the hottest girls; but they just didn’t think of me as a boy, I was just ‘their best friend’. I have to say that this really annoys me. When I realized they did not consider me as a possible boyfriend, I had a deep depression. I think it will be impossible for me to get a girlfriend. I’m just too cute for being a boyfriend. At least a girl’s boyfriend…

Yeah, I think I found a reason why I started with guys: probably I gave up with girls. Then, I took my chance with boys. By the way, I have to tell what happened last Friday. The day started dark, but night it was simply perfect. I had planned a small party at my apartment; I invited my hot friends (girls) and some buddies. I decided to do this because I wanted to celebrate with my school friends and wanted them to meet my new friends. However, everything went wrong.

To start, on the very last minute, most girls quitted. So, I decided to cancel everything; I sent ext messages to everyone saying “tonight’s is over”. My friend Betty (one of the only two girls that actually said yes) told that the next time I should make plans and don’t mind about girls, I guess she’s right. Nevertheless, I still wanted to hang out anyway. For my luck, I talked to another friend, Jacob, and he was desperate for hanging out too. So, we called our friend Matt (he is the car man!) and he was ok to spend the night with us; after that, we called our friend Helen, but it was a bit difficult to convince her, but in the moment I told her Matt was going with us, she absolutely accepted, I wondered why… until later…

Thought of the day July 22

Today is Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008. I don’t know what is going on with my life. I just have this mess in my mind. I can’t see the way out. On one hand, I’ve been thinking about quitting Informatics. On the other hand, Geremy is about to drive me crazy. I’ll start with my career’s dilemma, and then, I’ll write about my affair.

As you know, I have this great scholarship at one of the best private universities in the country. But, I’m not really happy with my career. These days I’ve been thinking about giving up. I can’t stand the fact that I have to sit in front of a screen all day long; I do not love computers, I think they’re really helpful but they’re not my favorite hobby all aver the world. I love politics. My dream is to become an outgoing politician, a great ambassador and diplomat. But, it’s not easy to get a job in the government; you have to meet the right people and be very patient.

Anyway, I thought that I should dare and leave informatics. But, I realized that everything happens for a reason; I don’t know the reason why I got the scholarship at that university, then, I should find it out before I can take a decision. For the moment, I’m staying in front of the screen, writing that fucking code (which does not respect orthography rules) and not sleeping at night.