Thought of the day April 8

Today is Tuesday, April 08th. I haven’t written in a month, I guess it’s because this has been a really tired one. Anyway, I finally bought my cell phone. Last Thursday was Danielle’s birthday, she celebrated with her friends on Saturday at Via Lindora, I was so excited about this party, but I had no place where to stay or a car to come back home, so I didn’t attend. Instead, I hung out with my chicks. We ate at Tarire, and after that, we went to Chicho’s.

Once there, I drank a Rock Ice lemon and ate fries. I also had my tequilas, well, at least one. I was about to drink more, because I felt so bad about not going with Danielle; but my friends didn’t let me do it. Probably they were right, because I had to come back by bus. When I turned my head around and felt everything was moving, I guessed I was not ok; on that moment I realized my parents are right about me, I’ll explain what I mean.

Because of my class schedule, I ought to stay at San Jose. My parents have been telling me that I should take care of myself, because if I’ll live alone I can do things that I’m not used to. They were talking about porno, but they don’t know that’s something I already do. I’m really concerned about alcohol. Near the campus, there is “El Pueblo”, which is a kind of mall, with stores and discos. I’m worried that I could start going to this places and drink.

The most of you should think that is not a huge problem, that everybody does it. But, I’m not like everybody. I don’t know when to stop. All my life, I’ve done what everyone else wants me to do, or what they ‘expect’ me to. So, I don’t know how to control my life, all this liberty could bring me down. I don’t wanna lose my scholarship. I think I start to like my career. But now I see the probability of destroying everything I’ve reached, even though is not want I really want, but it’s what I have…

This was a very conflictive month for me. My mind is a total mess. This last week I tried to center just on school, but soon or later I’ll have to face all my problems. I just hope I’m strong enough to resist all this stuff.